Today’s prompts is: When did you begin to put up protective walls? How did you build them?
This prompt is similar to the first day’s prompt, but it draws out a different aspect of the experience and my difficulty. I think this one will be a bit more likely to yield meaningful writing than yesterday’s—I can already tell where it’s taking me, and it’s an important distinction that is teasing out things I’ve not really thought about.
We’re a third of the way through, and this writing challenge has definitely been hard. The only thing allowing me to get through the prompts is knowing that no one besides me might ever see what comes out. The honesty of some of this writing makes me cringe, because I know it could hurt people in my life if they read it.
That’s one of the hardest things about writing out trauma: knowing that you’ve been hiding things from yourself and those you love, and worrying about how they may react to finding out. I’m trying not to let the worry stop me from writing, though. I need to write my truth. I’m 17 years past my first big trauma, and the past two years have been getting harder and harder. Writing is my path to healing, and I’m determined to try to traverse it.
Is there something you’ve been having trouble writing about? Try writing about it honestly, maybe using one of these prompts, in a place only you can access. Write in a file that is password protected through email or on a thumb drive. Write on paper and then destroy it. Use code words and false names. Get the feelings out.